Hearts in a Tree

Tonight at dinner Johnathan told me he had something that he wanted to tell me at bedtime. Something private. I could tell from his cute little freckled face that he was bursting to tell. Now! The subsequent conversation went like this.

Mom: Hmmm... ok, you can tell me at bedtime. Whatever.

Johnathan: (Giggle) Richie* told me something today! Something you won't believe! (Giggle, giggle)

Mom: Really??? What???

Johnathan: He was at the park and they had those binoculars and he put 50 cents in and looked and he saw.... (Giggle).... I'll tell you the rest later.

Roxann poking her head in from the other room: What is this I'm hearing? Saw what?

Johnathan: I can't tell in front of Ati. It was too shocking! I'll tell mom in the other room.

We depart for the living room and Johnathan proceeds to tell me that Richie was peeking through the binoculars and saw Bobbie* and Susie* by the lake. And low and behold Bobbie KISSED Susie!!!!

Mom: What???

Johnathan: I know, right!?! Can you believe it? (Giggle, giggle, giggle)

I am returned to the dining room and Johnathan hauls Roxann of to share the juicy gossip. I hear "whisper, whisper, whisper" and then "NO! WHAT? EWWWW!!!!"

But wait, there's more. Bobbie is reportedly going to carve a heart in a tree with the lovebirds initials!

I asked Johnathan if this is giving him any ideas about kissing a girl.

His response. "What? Are you crazy??? No!"

*Names have been changed to preserve privacy. And because I don't want any calls from Bobby or Susie's mothers.

Exciting, Ultra-Glamorous, Not-To-Be-Missed 2012 Underwear Drive for AHOPE

Announcing the “Exciting, Ultra-Glamorous, Not-To-Be-Missed 2012 Underwear Drive for AHOPE!!!”

Some of you already know this, but I'm really excited to say that I will be traveling to Ethiopia in early May to participate in some development work. Part of my travel goal is to use a lot of my luggage allowance to carry over 400-600 pair of new underwear for the kids residing in the AHOPE children’s homes. AHOPE is an amazing organization providing care for children who have been orphaned, with a particular emphasis on caring for children who are HIV+, either in the AHOPE children’s homes or through outreach programs. I could go on and on all day about AHOPE and the work that they do but in the interest of time, I'll just cut to the chase.

AHOPE relies on donations in order to do their work. $$$ donations but also donations of various physical supplies, much of which gets carried over in people’s luggage. Example? Let’s see… oh yeah, underwear! Thus the previously mentioned EUGNTBM Underwear Drive of 2012. My goal is a little rough in terms of numbers because I won’t really know how much unmentionables weigh until they start piling up but I'm hoping that I will be able to present a freakin' huge number of pairs of underwear.

So there you have it; an opportunity of a lifetime to contribute to the universal human need to cover you butt. There is need for a range of sizes for children from toddler to young adults. I've asked a lot of questions, done some calculations and created my underwear spreadsheets. (Anyone who knows me, knows that much of my life involves a spreadsheet. And anyone who wishes to chuckle at my % of goal achieved calculation - feel free.) The list below represents the sizes and number of pairs of undies that are left to collect. I'll update the numbers as the undies start piling up. It looks like a lot, but undies come in multi packs so it's not a ominous as it seems. Sensible styles probably best. I.e. briefs, boxer briefs, etc. Quality that will hold up in the long term preferred. And please, no previously worn underwear, even if they are in the best condition.

If anyone wants to contribute, please send me a message. As I said, AHOPE is an amazing organization and any help with this project would be much appreciated.

Boys
Goal by Size
Boys XS-- 24
Boys S-- 38
Boys M-- 38
Boys L-- 38
Boys XL-- 64
Mens S-- 63
Mens M-- 43
Total-- 308
Original Goal 380
Percentage of Goal Achieved 17%


Girls
Goal by Size
Girls 4 -- 30
Girls 6 -- 30
Girls 8 -- 10
Girls 10-- 40
Girls 12-- 40
Girls 14-- 60
Womens Small-- 50
Womens Medium-- 50
Total -- 180
Original Goal 200
Percentage of Goal Achieved 10%

You Reap What You Sow

It's hard to shock me. I mean really hard. I think for whatever reason I have always been able to look at things straight on for what they are and I have sort of always known that the good, the bad and the ugly all exist in this world, all mixed up together. And it's messy. End of the day, I suppose I don't see the point in being shocked. I'm not sure where I get that from. Doesn't really matter, I guess.

But this week, I'm flat out shocked by the horrible turn of events coming out of Penn State. It's obviously just starting and after the initial jolt, I'm not going to be shocked when it gets worse. Much worse. Because there's no way it's not going in the direction of worse.

Obviously I'm shocked by the evil actions perpetrated against children. There really just aren't any words...

But beyond that, I am shocked by where some people are focusing their anger and outrage. To be blunt, I can’t believe that there are people standing up to protest the firing of Joe Paterno based solely on what he contributed to Penn State football. I’m sorry, but that kind of reasoning does not fly in this household. I mean, if someone said that we should let him stay a few more months because he’s “this close” to a cure for cancer, I would be at least willing to dialogue on the concept of “conditional good”. To be fair, I’ll say that it wouldn’t be a lengthy discussion, because I'm not a big fan of "conditional good", but I’d listen to an opinion.

But try to engage me with the idea that anything related to football can offset the fact that someone didn’t go all out to protect children from a predator? Ummm… yeah... that ain’t happening. Even if someone wasn’t sure, even if there was doubt, (and based on Paterno’s own statements, it doesn’t seem to me that there was any doubt), there was an unequivocal, moral responsibility to report TO THE AUTHORITIES and let those authorities and the legal system make the determination.

The adults in this situation, including Joe Paterno failed. They had a choice to take definitive action to protect children and they failed. That failure gave a monster almost 9 more years of freedom to commit evil. Paterno isn’t the first to fall. I would highly doubt that he’s going to be the last. But he brought this on himself. There are some failures where you pay the price. Period.

Side comment to the students who are causing all the chaos and fuss over this firing - Grow up. Joe Paterno is not a victim. His firing was not “unconscionable” as I heard one student claim. There were many “unconscionable” acts that took place in this situation. That wasn’t one of them. Joe Paterno was in a position of great authority. That means he was also in a position of great responsibility and he looked the other way when that responsibility called. Hopefully at some point the nation will see you all out there raising your voices on behalf of the true victims of this horror.

Mudula Water Project - It's More Than Just Clean Water

Convenient access to clean water means more than you would think.

· It means better health eliminating senseless deaths, especially of children 5 and under.
· It means better productivity because people are consistently healthy enough to work. Illness due to contaminated water during critical times of the farming cycle can seriously impact an entire family’s food resources.
· It means women and girls do not waste hours per day hauling water needed for immediate survival when they could be doing activities that contribute to improving long term quality of life. Things like caring for their family, running businesses, and most importantly in the big picture, going to school.
· In addition to saving time, access to nearby, clean water saves those same women and girls a huge number of calories each and every day. Many women in rural Ethiopia eat a very nutritional diet but the calories can’t offset those lost hauling water for hours per day. It’s a caloric waste and results in women growing to be too small for their age, which contributes to infant and mother mortality and injury during childbirth. Save those calories and when a girl grows, goes to school, is able to earn a living and THEN gets married and starts her family, her body is much better prepared for the process of childbirth.

As my friend Meghan blogs, “Mudula Mamas”, three mothers of children born in Mudula, Ethiopia, have come together from different states to compete as one relay team in the Toyota US Open Triathlon and Janus Charity Challenge. These 3 friends are fundraising for “Mudula Water,” a large water project that will bring potable water to over 10,000 people in this rural village of southern Ethiopia.

Please give them your financial support before time runs out! https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=469401&supID=331974821

Help these women race for water. Help these women race for life.

To learn more about Mudula Water: www.mudulawater.org .

Meghan is personally donating $1 for every person who ‘like’s the Mudula Water page on Facebook. Click on the Mudula Water link above and then click "Like". The donation runs through Friday, September 30. You can do something right now – find that page. If you want to double your dollar donation without getting out of your chair or opening your wallet, like http://www.facebook.com/hopebytwelve page Facebook. The founder of Hope by twelve has announced the same challenge.

Take Meghan up on her offer. Please.

It's so much more that just clean water.

A Personal Challenge From One Mother On Behalf Of Other Mothers

This is a personal challenge/request to my FB friends to raise awareness of "Philip Wiseley's Janus Charity Challenge" in support of Doctor's Without Borders therapeutic feeding programs. Monies raised will fund the nutritional food supplements needed help severely malnourished babies and children. Every $30 raised is enough to literally bring a starving child back from the brink. I always say that while that sounds dramatic, it is the literal truth.

My friend Meghan and her cohorts have been the drivers behind this challenge for the past four years. Every year they find an athlete to run/swim/bike a triathlon in the Janus Challenge. It's especially important because the athletes who raise the most money qualify for "bonus" donations for their charity from Janus Funds that could amount to thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars translates to many, many children having a chance at life that they would not otherwise have and to many, many mothers not having to suffer the experience of losing a child to a slow and truly awful death.

Doctors W/O Borders maintains therapeutic feeding centers in the area where Atinafu was born. I've heard from people who live in this area. The situation is very bad and gets worse the further south one goes. Much worse. I can't even start...

Needless to say, this is pretty personal to me. So I'm raising a personal challenge to my friends and family. For every person who makes a donation of $10 or more, I will donate an additional $10. All you have to do is click on the link below and put my name somewhere in the "message" field for your donation. Or post on this thread. Or message me. Or whatever. Just find a way to tell me. Your donation amount can be totally anonymous. I will be grateful for any and all support. My cap in this offer is $500. That's 50 donors. I'm not sure I even know 50 people so if you want to share this challenge with your brother's wife's hairdresser's cousin Fred, go for it, as long as I can identify that a donation was made because of this challenge. I would especially love for my non adoptive parent friends to get involved since I know that my AP friends are already deeply involved and seriously stretching themselves to find ways to impact the current crisis. But regardless, I'm hoping people will find a way to make me hit the $500. My VISA card will thank you!

The deadline for my offer is Wednesday, August 24th, by the end of the day.

So there it is. My challenge to you. Thank you for taking the time to read.

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=469399&supID=330432677

Morgen

P.S. I totally stole this from another friend of mine. Shannon, thank you for the idea!

Drumming In The Park At Dusk

Tomorrow is Johnathan's last day of Kindergarten.

Johnathan goes to a school with a system that groups 3 years of classes together at one time. For example, two years of Pre-K and K in the same room, grades 1-3 in the same room, etc. It's a great model. The younger children learn from the older the children and the big kids teach the little ones. I believe it's empowering for the children and it gives them a different and more accepting perspective regarding a diverse peer group with a diverse level of abilities. In short, I like it.

This system also means that Johnathan has had the same teacher for three year. His beloved Ms. Mary.

Ms. Mary, who embraces all the amazing potential in every child and does her best to get out of the way of that potential so as not to stifle it. Who manages to allow each child to explore what interests them the most while at the same time guiding them to learn what needs to be learned, i.e reading and math.

Ms. Mary, who uses a list of virtues as teaching tools to the point that the children are truly able to recognize and appreciate virtues in themselves and in each other. It's interesting to be lectured by your child on the topic of moderation and awesome to hear him speak sincerely about what is special in another person.

Ms. Mary, who while being the personification of gentleness and warmth, is not someone to test with inappropriate behavior. (I will totally confess to once invoking the name of Ms. Mary during a fit of frustration over behavior at home. As in, "Johnathan, do you want me to call Ms. Mary?" I know, bad... but oh my gosh, so effective.)

Ms. Mary, who gives her students the gift of music and the gift of poetry. One of my favorite things from the past few years is how Johnathan will just start singing songs about anything and everything. Sometimes in Spanish. My second favorite song was a rap song about the layers of the earth. Inner core, outer core, mantel and crust. With gestures for each layer. The full body gesture for the viscous mantel still cracks me up. But my all time favorite is a lullaby about pretty little horses that Johnathan sang to soothe his little brother on one particularly fussy evening.

Tonight was Ms. Mary's end of the year evening family picnic in park. Time for all of the families of children in her classroom to get together, visit, watch our children play and celebrate what they have accomplished over the past ten months. At a certain point, the children gathered to share things they learned a few weeks ago about drumming from a professional Cuban drummer who came to visit the classroom. Some of the kids drummed on drums they made from plastic buckets or trash cans or whatever. Most sang. And all celebrated the gifts they have been given by Ms. Mary.

So I am anticipating tomorrow, the last day of Johnathan's Kindergarten year, with a little bit of sadness. Because I know that while he is moving on to exciting stuff in the lower elementary classroom and that I am sure that he will flourish with his new teacher, he is also leaving behind a very magical time in his childhood.

My deepest thanks to Ms. Mary for all that she has given to Johnathan. I know that 30 years from now, he will be using the virtues in diplomatic conflict resolution and singing songs about anything and everything.

And... I am deeply happy to know that 3 months from now, I will be escorting Atinafu to the Pre-K gate to be introduced to the wonderful world of Ms. Mary. Little does he know at this moment the amazing things in store for him in the next three years.

Special day...

Today's trip to the playground should have been nothing special, other than just dedicated time for the three of us be together with no distractions or need for any multitasking from mom. That kind of time can be hard to find which would make today special enough regardless of anything else.

Today surprised me.

Johnathan started by climbing up to the platform in order to slide down the pole. I assisted with the slide down the first two times, but then it was clear that he could do it so I stepped back. My little boy has always been what we shall call "risk averse" and hates, hates, hates doing new things by himself so my stepping back for him to fly solo was a big deal. It always is.

Emotional drama ensued, as expected. I held firm that he could slide down the pole by himself, or not slide down the pole if he preferred, but either way it was his choice and I wasn't helping him do something that I knew he could do. That prompted the negotiation process to commence. Johnathan is an extremely effective negotiator. Final agreement was that I would stand in the general proximity of the pole so that if he fell I could leap to catch him. That led to a discussion about the definition of "general proximity". End result, I stood about 6 feet from the pole and looked attentive, like I was ready to dive forward if necessary, while he proceeded to..... totally astonish himself by sliding down the pole. The way he lit up with pride was so awesome!

Then of course he had to do it a bunch more times.

I was bursting with pride myself thinking of all the times in the past he has chosen not to do something rather than try it himself.

Meanwhile, Atinafu was working on climbing skills on the jungle gym. It was a weird jungle gym with wobbly bars and chains and he's wearing his new leg brace so it was a pretty challenging thing for him to tackle. I was cheering him on, offering a little guidance and a safety net in case he fell but basically making him do it himself. As he was figuring out a particularly difficult part, I heard him whispering to himself "I'm doing a good job. I can do it." And he did and lit up with pride just as bright as his brother's as he got to the top.

Then of course he had to do it a bunch more times.

I was a happy that we had the playground to ourselves because I may have gotten little teary thinking of the baby who, when he was placed in my arms a little more than two years ago, had little useful function on the left side of his body.

As we were heading home, Johnathan on his bike, Ati on his trike and me trailing along, I realized that today is the also the day that, two years ago, I landed with Atinafu at Tucson International Airport and we made our way home to Johnathan. And became a family of three.

A very special day.